OMG It's January

Went to NYC last weekend and hung out with Kristoff.. went over ideas for my bachelorette song and edited the last two verses. Yay.

He also gave awesome advice about my speech. Mention marriage. Be all like this is what you get when you're married and show off my awesome body. Unfortunately I can't think of any funny or clever things that have to do with life after marriage so now I will observe and stuff. Like this:

Today I watched the male in action. He has so far spent 10 minutes observing his arrowmaking craftmanship. Now he is looking for beeswax and scratching his butt. And now back to the arrow..... ok this got boring really quickly.... Maybe I'll say stuff about toothbrushes and not having to shave ever....

Kristoff also said to be sarcastic. Gotta figure that out...

mORE tHINGS

Well, fudge. I officially have much fewer days to create an awesome speech. And I've officially gotten no where. I pretty much have the opening statement about our butts and then I was going to mention smizmar and the fact that I can use my friendship with her to make an interesting comment at a house party or when I meet new people. If I start with, so yeah... I have a friend who's been with her fiance for 11 or something years, you know I'm fascinating and I know things that you want to hear. So that's it. Also, I've told her everything one night when I was drunk so I'm pretty much back to square one. The only thing I have left is the smizmar comment so you know that will be used.

I was thinking about copying Chris' speech where he mentioned that he met his friend Bryan at online but he doesn't want to go into the details and made it sound like they met on some weird freaky sex dungeon website for men when in reality they met on an MMA website. So you can make fun of them but they are perfectly capable of breaking your spleen and throwing you.

I watched a movie a few days ago called I Give It A Year and I'm pretty sure I at least won't do as bad as the best man

However, I'm seriously considering a dance duo with Kristoff because of this scene

Anyway, the movie is about a terrible relationship and, SPOILER, they divorce so I shouldn't reference it too much when talking about Alex's wedding....

At this point, I might just go up there and try to be sentimental and see how that turns out. Maybe I could do a poem...

I could also mention how she introduced one of my most favorite words, pomplemousse. Which means grapefruit. Awesome.