Third draft

I have about a week so this is pretty much the final draft...

Ladies and gentlemen. We are gathered here today to recognize something magical. Something that has seemingly disappeared in our society. Something so rare and beautiful, we have come together to partake and share in the joy it gives off. I am of course talking about the open bar.

Now, I am going to refer to Misses Alex as Alex and Mr. Alex as Birk mostly because that’s how I’ve always known them.

It’s also because I figured if I called them both Alex there will possibly be some confusion which I could have just left as a challenge for you guys but I chose no.

My name is Beth. Alex and I were roommates in college. and those were fun times… mostly spent playing Super Smash Brothers and Mario Kart…. And when we did drink, Alex expressed her strong opinions about grammar... Stuff like explaining subjunctives and gerunds. Go ahead, give her some champagne and ask her about the Oxford comma. 

I am truly honored that she has asked me to stand with her on this day. I have always looked up to Alex even though I am older than her. Alex is a passionate ball of creativity who is just so neat. She is an avid book fan and her recommendations are always spot on. Her fondue making abilities are nothing short of phenomenal. Her love of the French language inspired me to name my hamster Fenetre which is French for window.

I have never known Alex as a single lady… she has always been with Birk. And since I've known her 10 years, all I have to say is, it’s about time!

Being an experienced married lady myself… I just have to say that everything’s the same except now you can file jointly on your taxes.

Birk, you have been a wonderful partner to Alex which is why I am sure you will make a perfect husband. I should be giving you advice but you have been doing a great job for the past 11 years so as long as you carry on what you’re doing and making her smile like she has today you’ll be fine.

Alex and Birk have such a magical relationship. The support they share for one another is so awesome in that they have seen each other’s dreams become a reality. Their creativity knows no bounds and personally, they have inspired me to be a more creative person. Alex currently keeps up 4 blogs and has written a few 50,000 word novels. And I'm sure all of you have noticed the fine craftsmanship that has gone into each of our bouquets and boutonnières. It's all thanks to Birk's ingenuity. This is but one of his amazing craft projects. Success in marriage is more than finding the right person - it is being the right person. These two special people, who are not only amazing in their own right, also the right people for each other.

To use terms from one of Birk’s favorite tv shows, Futurama, you guys are each other’s smizmars, or love partners. And this is your Fonfon Rubok, or wedding ceremony. Yes I watched all 10 seasons of futurama for inspiration.

And to even things out, Alex, to quote Neil Gaiman,

“May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget to make some art -- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.”

Alex, I'm sorry if my grammar is terrible. 

You guys are super neat and I wish the best in your future adventures. Cheers everyone!

. 

Futurama

So on my quest to watch all of Futurama, I saw the movie, Bender's Game. They play dungeons and dragons and fight a gelatinous cube...we totally did that at the bachelorette party

Updated Speech

Updated! Woooooot. My word document has gone through a lot but here's what I have so far.

Ladies and gentlemen. We are gathered here today to recognize something magical. Something that has seemingly disappeared in our society. Something so rare and beautiful, we have come together to partake and share in the joy it gives off. I am of course talking about the open bar.

Now, I am going to refer to Misses Alex as Alex and Mr. Alex as Birk mostly because that’s how I’ve always known them.

It’s also because I figured if I called them both Alex there will possibly be some confusion which I could’ve just left as a challenge for you guys but I chose no.

My name is Beth. I’ve known Alex for 10 years. We were roommates in college. Those were blissful times… mostly spent playing Super Smash Brothers and Mario Kart…. And the food.. Birk introduced me to an amazing food combination of cheese dip and doritos. Tasted like magic. Thank you for that. ***this part needs editing

I have always looked up to Alex even though I am older than her. Alex is a passionate ball of creativity which is just so neat. She is an avid book fan and her recommendations are always spot on. Her fondue making abilities are nothing short of phenomenal. Her love of the French language inspired me to name my hamster Fenetre which is French for window.

I have never known Alex as a single lady… she has always been with Birk. And to that I just have to say, it’s about time!

Being an experienced married lady myself… I just have to say that everything’s the same except now you can file jointly on your taxes.

Alex and Birk have such a magical relationship. The support they share for one another is so awesome in that they have seen each other’s dreams become a reality. Their creativity knows no bounds and personally, they have inspired me to be a more creative person. Because of Alex, I have participated in national novel writing month, started a blog, and read a lot of good books. **this part needs editing

You guys, to use a term from one of Birk’s favorite tv shows, Futurama, are each other’s smizmars, or love partners.

And to even things out, Alex, to quote Neil Gaiman,

“May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget to make some art -- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.”

You guys are super neat and I wish the best in your future adventures. Cheers everybody!

Pun

OMG I wish Alex had a tiered cake rather than cupcakes so I can use this:

"Ladies and gentlemen, it's been a very emotional day. Even the cake's in tiers..."

Speech Stuff

Chris said I couldn't say this:

My name is Beth. Alex and I were roommates in college. Those were four blissful years… mostly spent playing Super Smash Brothers and Mario Kart…. Alex always played Kirby, the character that sucked people into it's mouth.. So yeah, we all know where her mind was at. : P 

OMG I has a first draft!

Hi everyone. Really quick, I am going to refer to Mrs. Alex as Alex and Mr. Alex as Birk mostly because that’s how I’ve always known them.

It’s also because I figured if I both called them Alex there will possibly be some confusion which I could’ve just left as a challenge for you guys but I chose no.

My name is Beth. Alex and I were roommates in college. They were four blissful years… which mostly us just playing Super Smash Brothers and/or Mario Kart…. Yeah… we partied hard in college.

I have always looked up to Alex even though I am older than her. Her love for French club inspired me to name my hamster fenetre… which is French for window.

I have never known Alex as a single lady… she has always been with Birk. And to that I just have to say, it’s about time!

Being an experienced married lady myself… I just have to say that everything’s the same except now you can file jointly on your taxes.

Alex and Birk have such a magical relationship. The support they share for one another is so awesome in that they have seen each other’s dreams become a reality, which is so cool. Their creativity knows no bounds and personally, they have inspired me to be a more creative person. *** extend this part.

You guys, to use a term from one of Birk’s favorite tv shows, Futurama, are each other’s smizmars, or love partners.

You guys are super neat and I wish the best in your future adventures. 

Idea

I wonder if it's possible to start a slow clap....

Ideas r hard

Ideas for the speech:

Mention Alex's love for the French Club and how her interests rubbed off on me and the fact that I named my hamster fenetra which means window in French.

Mention how every time I call her, she answers with an excited "Bethy!" which makes me happy.

Now I go back to watching Futurama for more inspiration....

OMG It's January

Went to NYC last weekend and hung out with Kristoff.. went over ideas for my bachelorette song and edited the last two verses. Yay.

He also gave awesome advice about my speech. Mention marriage. Be all like this is what you get when you're married and show off my awesome body. Unfortunately I can't think of any funny or clever things that have to do with life after marriage so now I will observe and stuff. Like this:

Today I watched the male in action. He has so far spent 10 minutes observing his arrowmaking craftmanship. Now he is looking for beeswax and scratching his butt. And now back to the arrow..... ok this got boring really quickly.... Maybe I'll say stuff about toothbrushes and not having to shave ever....

Kristoff also said to be sarcastic. Gotta figure that out...

mORE tHINGS

Well, fudge. I officially have much fewer days to create an awesome speech. And I've officially gotten no where. I pretty much have the opening statement about our butts and then I was going to mention smizmar and the fact that I can use my friendship with her to make an interesting comment at a house party or when I meet new people. If I start with, so yeah... I have a friend who's been with her fiance for 11 or something years, you know I'm fascinating and I know things that you want to hear. So that's it. Also, I've told her everything one night when I was drunk so I'm pretty much back to square one. The only thing I have left is the smizmar comment so you know that will be used.

I was thinking about copying Chris' speech where he mentioned that he met his friend Bryan at online but he doesn't want to go into the details and made it sound like they met on some weird freaky sex dungeon website for men when in reality they met on an MMA website. So you can make fun of them but they are perfectly capable of breaking your spleen and throwing you.

I watched a movie a few days ago called I Give It A Year and I'm pretty sure I at least won't do as bad as the best man

However, I'm seriously considering a dance duo with Kristoff because of this scene

Anyway, the movie is about a terrible relationship and, SPOILER, they divorce so I shouldn't reference it too much when talking about Alex's wedding....

At this point, I might just go up there and try to be sentimental and see how that turns out. Maybe I could do a poem...

I could also mention how she introduced one of my most favorite words, pomplemousse. Which means grapefruit. Awesome.